He thought he was God and I didn't. Clark Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. He wanted to win the No-bell prize! Then I took a second look!! The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
Failure is not falling down, it is not getting up again. Question:What do you call a fish with no eye? Because those men already have boyfriends. The first thing the bastard did was made me pay in advance. Losing a wife can be very tough. Henrik Ibsen As I grow older I pay less attention to what men say. Because he found his honey.
If I can, I will send you a telegram. George Bernard Shaw To live is the rarest thing in the world. What is the most important thing to learn in chemistry? Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? I could talk about classic card games all day. I hardly ever visit Syria. It matters not whether you win or lose: what matters is whether I win or lose. How many of you believe in telekinesis? He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do.
Under my gruff exterior lies an even gruffer interior. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame. Google request: How to disable autocorrect in wife? Others have no imagination whatsoever. Like the way an Irish person or a Scottish person would say that the band Snow Patrol are boring but an Eskimo has a hundred words for how crap Snow Patrol are. The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large. What happens to mountains when they touch each other? And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere. I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila. A: Only if you aim it well enough. When a woman gets up people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen. My drinking team has a bowling problem. What has four legs and an arm? The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Join The Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them. Confucius It takes years to build up trust, and just seconds to destroy it. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. All of us start our lives as little kids, sometime later we grow up, then grow old and turn to be childish again. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone. We have divided and organized all the jokes, riddles, insults and pick up lines into different categories, to make is easier for you to find your favorites pieces.
Friends are like condoms: They protect you when things get hard. Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. Why is a bra singular and panties plural? A train station is where a train stops. Crowded elevators smell different to midgets. Because he found his honey. You have a perception problem.
Never miss a good chance to shut up. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. Failure is not an option. A cat has a staff. But some of us are short. Which I have not been able to answer. Do not walk beside me either.
Every organisation is perfectly designed to get the results they are getting. One Liners about life Sounds like its time to get that Enterprise built! No one is listening until you fart. Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? Find your favorite sections and share them with your family and friends. Jesus loves you, it's everybody else that thinks you're an a. I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.
No it was a mutual thing. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. You know, they got a luggage store in the airport? The farther away the future is, the better it looks. I sit and look at it for hours. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.