And when we decided to get married we also had the conversation about me being the stable earner and him building a business on his own. I felt a constant, nearly unbearable background anxiety. I reach an age where I can say with almost certainty that people with large income have at some point been lying, cheating or else. All of you have made very good points. The main problem in my case was that my mom tried to keep me in the subordinate, insecure, child position in our relationship long past the point when it was no longer appropriate. Alot of men will tell you that they are doing well off when they arent just to win you over. Be it cooking a homemade Italian dinner on his rooftop, planning a rollerblading day along the beach or bringing her fresh flowers from the farmers market, these plans impress women.
He drives a car costing 1000 month! Money really does make a difference in a relationship. We must have different homes and bank accounts and only see them for romance on our down time--utilizing what they're good at, right! He loves what he does, and it suits him. Now he needs to find work but had no resume, no experience and completely unrealistic goals. But if he balks at that, I would certainly question why. Kiss his lips, hold his head in your hands. How do I solve this issue and tell him that he was not the problem in the argument? I even give him my bank card and my pin so he can pay if we are together just to try save him some respect as a man.
Then if you really get desperate for pussy, you can rent them by the hour. Not that it needs to happen right now but his plan is looking like 10 years away of ever. Probably not a good idea to pick somewhere you've frequented though. In all other aspects, our relationship is perfectly fine—we have similar interests, enjoying spending time together, basically never fight, etc. Iv met guys like this actually but still most guys who make minimal wage aren't the interesting guys i'd want to date. You are dismissing an entire demographic of men guys with no friends , because you've had a couple bad experiences. Honestly, it killed my sex drive too because I could not respect him any longer when he could not or would not take a job that would provide for his own basic needs.
But I am challenging you to take a look at the men whom you are viewing as potential contenders for your heart, and use a bit of discernment when it comes to choosing where to invest your emotions. Men who make less money then others within their socioeconomic strata are weaker. Money is not an issue at all. She deserves better than I can give. I wouldn't want to live with someone who doesn't remotely like what they do and seem trapped in doing it over the long haul. That same person, if supporting three other people, would fall squarely below the poverty line. I have had to work very hard to get myself into the financial position I am.
A man of means is an aphrodisiac to me. Do make money but do not love it, so give give give, good business model…. He may not be able to bring you on an all expenses paid vacation to Saint Tropez, but he can treat you to a picnic at the local park or stargazing at the planetarium. On average no because realistically most people on minimal wage are lazy, but that said i'd consider it. Not all men act out this feeling in healthy ways.
A female reader, , writes 27 January 2010 : Hey ladies, Boy, seems we're all in similar situations here. So he was talking to her he claimed. Do not expect a fairy tale ending. Most times are spent at my house or doing free stuff. I like taking care of myself.
Broke men have broke ways. Men are clearly capable of loving women as they prove everytime they couple themselves with a woman that makes less money then they do. Do not get too demanded and needy. He does also like to travel. He needed so many reminders to drop off the dry cleaning that it actually would have been less stressful to do it myself because nagging him was unpleasant.
I prefer to be single and poor than to be partnered and poor. We have been married 16 years. Know thy self and always use condoms. To do that, you might need to reframe your story and attitude, and embrace the great skills and nurturing personality you have. Meaning you would sacrifice yourself for that person. I don't want to say no, but I wouldn't if he was stuck there and began to hate it. Motivated by work, has a high paying job and though open minded, comes from a background where career and education and the advancement of both are paramount to many things.
He has not yet which is good. I was married for 24 years to a man who made the same income as me and understood financial issues. Without knowing more, the mortgage thing seems reasonable to me, but it is not clear to me why your fiance would also be paying for their other expenses. It's not about income but about ambition to me. Because I am a single mom, kicked my butt to get where I am. Research that if the lower. Would a woman be with a sweet guy who was responsible and not looking for a handout and would treat her with all respect, affection, love etc.
I have always made more than anyone I dated. A person could make what you make and still have the same issues. The only choices it seems, when he is unwilling to seek real help, are to: break yourself away completely and go no contact to save yourself the ongoing heartache- or stay with this man you love but endure a lifetime of the same heartache and pain cycle repeating over and over. . I have confronted him on several ocassion but I get a negative response, I can only guess that deep down he knows this what being uostaged by a female on the career front must be very embarrassing for a man.