We got together when I was still in high school, he's 6 years older than me. It has been very hard, and I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. That's why the situation is so painful for her. I did however end up having a night of passion with this person, which, I later confessed to my boyfriend about. There are a lot of fish in the sea. Now if she really loves me why would she not agree? I noticed a few other posts from young women like myself who are in very long term relationships with good men who are resistant to marriage or engagement.
When you compare married couples to single people. I just can't see the day when he'll turn round and say 'Will you marry me'. He saw me meet up with the other guy and waited around until I returned from lunch. Evan said it clearly and kindly. In almost every sense of the word, you are indeed married. You really need to ask him point blank why he seems to side step the topic when you ask him about it. You should start by casually bringing up a conversation about marriage that doesn't directly involve your marriage.
Like dema said, make sure your heart and your mind are on the same page. Her pushing the issue would only stress him out. I hope you find happiness in your life, as I know I will in mine. Worse, you allowed him to flip the script as you could have pressed for a date to marry, a ring, or whatever else you wanted long ago, but what are you doing now? When he's visa expired we went and lived in Australia for a year and when my visa expired in Australia we decided that we wanted different things in the future - I wanted the whole marriage and kids but he didn't. That person from my past was someone who I thought about a lot because of the way we parted.
It is scary to be suddenly single at 30, but thrilling to have taken charge of my own life without waiting around for someone else to figure out if they wanted to be with me. . Sounds like he hyped himself up to go through with it and when the reality of it hit him, he fell apart. I feel for you, because I just broke up with a man that I really love, because he wouldn't set a wedding date, and we would have been together 6 years this December. Marriage is something two willing parties should enter happily without reservations.
If he changes the subject as fast as he can, it means he never wants to talk about it, and would prefer that the subject just disappears. Quote: I often wonder why people think that getting married is going to make there life perfect You never once said that you wanted to marry him because you love him. Well I can say I thought My boyfriend of 6 years would marry me one day. If you want to get married and have children, then no matter how painful and disappointing it is, now is the time to leave and start fresh. No matter where you go from here.
It makes for more accurate and comprehensive responses. If it hasn't felt like the right time for years, then there may be bigger problems. If it's not the right time in your man's life, then it doesn't matter how long you've been together. You must be terribly frustrated and hurt and confused. This fear could have many sources but one might be your anger. I really question the importance of it beyond tax breaks. Are you sitting idly by waiting for him to make all the decisions? I know What I want, but I'm not sure if I want that to the point that we end up breaking up.
I like the idea of couples therapy as it would give you the chance to work through your own issues and his issues, instead of just him working on his. Kinda like when you were a little kid and stuck your finger in an outlet for the first time. That bullshit about giving you something when you don't want it. If you can't be happy with him knowing he doesn't want to get married, then you know what you have to do. Make him see what he'll miss if he doesn't marry you.
It seems to me he does not want to get married, no reason for him to, he has everything he needs now. If you determine he is not, maybe it is time for you to say I love you but I have to move on with my life. I'm not downing marriage - I hope to marry again someday. Or, is he worried that after tying the knot, he'll be pressured to start a family right away? I am 27 now, I'm going to be the same person in 3-4 years time so what's going to be different then? Why not try being proactive and getting out the calendar and stating unambiguously that you want to be married in this particular month and you want to start planning now, so everything will be ready. In the meantime you want more. It doesn't add anything but a different last name and being a bit easier financially.